“Peace begins when expectation ends.” – Sri Chinmoy
Confession: For the past few weeks, I’ve been having a mini “dark night of the soul.”
I’ve been questioning everything in my life, especially as it relates to this website.
Questions such as, “Am I doing the right thing?” and “Should I take a break for a while?” have been plaguing my mind.
In my quest to create a thriving business, I’ve lost sight of why I started CAJ in the first place.
Yes, it’s a business.
Yes, making money is part of the equation.
But more than anything — CAJ was meant to be an inspiring and uplifting platform curated to help people understand and connect with their own spiritual nature in a simplified way.
Writing is a release for me. And it’s something I’d do regardless if there was monetary incentive or not. But, I forgot that, and instead became too consumed with the business aspect of things. I put myself on an “income deadline” where I needed to make X dollars by X date. And my creativity suffered as a result.
I wondered, “How do I get my passion back?” and “Am I depressed? Burnt out, or what?”
And then I realized something transformative. My expectations were misaligned with my circumstances. And the more I kept striving to meet those expectations without appreciating the now, the further I continued to distance myself from my present reality — which is the only place I can harness personal happiness, productivity, and creativity.
So I started to think…what can I do to get back in touch with the now and unstuck myself? The answer — albeit a bit unexpected — was to divorce my circumstances, expectations, and attachments.
Now let me clarify – having expectations isn’t a bad thing. Actually, expectations can help you plan and action certain goals and dreams so you’re able to bring them into fruition. But the minute you base your worth, or your happiness on the outcome, you’ve already lost.
I realized this the hard way.
That’s why I wanted to share this article with you. Here’s why divorcing the attachment to your circumstances can help you harness happiness in life (and how to do it!):
1.) Find 3 Things to Be Grateful For Every Day
When you’re feeling lost or down in the dumps it can be hard to find the good in your life. And once you get going on everything that’s “wrong” in your life, it’s easy to travel downhill quickly. Fortunately, you can use gratitude to combat any negative emotions you’re feeling, and re-center yourself.
Since everyone and everything in the world is energetic, the universe responds to the energy you send out. When you send out good energy, you get back good energy. It’s one of the universal laws of attraction.
Gratitude will help you raise your vibration, and shift your perspective from disappointed/unhappy to joyful.
Plus when you say “thank you” and mean it, a whole new world of blessings will open up to you and you’ll realize that you have more to be thankful for than you can even fathom.
Give yourself the gift of gratitude, and say thank you for 3 things every day. If you don’t know where to start, check out this list of 101 things to be grateful for.
2.) Take a Social Media Break
Social media is a great way to connect with long-lost friends, and family members from afar, but it also has a dark side – a side where we lose track of time and get stuck comparing our lives to the lives we think others are living.
Take a break from social media so you can regain control of your schedule, and let go of comparisons. Doing this will enable you to be more productive with your time (thereby accomplishing more) and build yourself up.
3.) Let Go and Let God
When you become too attached to a certain outcome, and you view your current circumstances as the antithesis of where you want to be, then you are actually preventing yourself from thriving.
You have to learn to divorce what’s no longer working for you – namely, your expectations that are killing your creativity because you look at them and they affirm you still aren’t where you want to be,
If you’re always striving, you’ll never be present, and never be in the moment. When it comes to what you really want in your life, work for it to your fullest potential, and then let go and release your attachment to the outcome.
By letting go you’ll make way for the magical, unexpected, synchronistic events to happen in your life.
4.) Do Something to Get Present
Chances are, you spend a lot of time in the past thinking about everything you wish you could change, or a lot of time in the future thinking about everything you want in your life.
While both of these mindsets are fine in moderation, especially if you’re visiting the past to extract a lesson, or planning for the future, neither mindset allows you to truly enjoy your life right here, right now.
That’s why it’s important you practice presence in your life so you can stop and experience the blessings in your life.
If you don’t know how to get present, here are some simple ways to channel the “now”:
- Meditate for 10 to 15 minutes
- Go for a walk in nature and awaken your senses
- Create something
This moment right here, right now, is the only moment that exists. Make sure you don’t miss out on it because you’re somewhere else.
5.) Remember you are more than the sum of your accomplishments
You are so much more than the degree on your wall, the certifications you’ve earned, the money in your account, the body that houses your spirit and the labels that you and others use to define you.
You are also an infinite, powerful, limitless, spiritual being. There is NOTHING you can’t be, do, or have.
And when it’s all said and done, what will truly matter is how much you’ve learned, grown, and loved in your life on earth.
About Antasha Durbin: Antasha is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader. Her website, cajspirituality.com, is dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime. Follow her for free, easy-to-digest and highly actionable advice on spirituality, mindfulness and empowered living.