“If you follow your ego, you’ll end up on a journey to nowhere. If you follow your truth, the world becomes your oyster. Choose wisely.” – Antasha Durbin
Ego (noun): “A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.”
All of us have an ego within us vying for our attention and trying to take control of our lives.
When we fall into the ego trap, we end up destroying relationships, opportunities and even our own happiness in the process.
That’s why it’s important to realize when your ego has control of your life, and how to regain control. Here are 7 tell-tale signs your ego is in the driver’s seat, and what to do:
1.) You Make Everything About You
No matter what’s happening to anyone else, you make everything about you. For example, let’s say a friend of yours is going through a tough breakup and comes to you for comfort and advice. Rather than listening and being empathetic you instead turn the entire conversation around and talk about the tough breakup you went through before, and how hard it’s been on you, and how you’re still not over it.
Rather than consoling your friend during this hard time, your friend ends up consoling you.
If this sounds familiar, then it’s time to rein in your ego. Resist the urge to be the focal point of every situation and conversation, and instead focus on listening to other people, helping them overcome their challenges and being empathetic.
2.) You Feel a Constant Need to Defend Yourself and Your Position
Do you feel a visceral reaction when people disagree with you? Do you feel the need to constantly defend yourself and everything you do?
If you answered yes to these two questions, then this is a tell-tale sign your ego is running the show.
You see, the ego can’t stand not being right. It can’t stand when others disagree with its set of beliefs because doing so goes against the very foundation it’s built upon. When others disagree with the ego, the ego feels threatened and like its “power” is diminishing.
But true power isn’t based on what other people think of you, or what beliefs they hold in relation to yours. True power is found when you accept the fact that the universe is full of dynamic people — all with their own thoughts and beliefs, and you aren’t responsible for changing them, you’re just responsible for letting everyone live according to their own dogmas as you do the same.
3.) You Are Envious of Other Peoples’ Happiness and Success
When you see other people find happiness and achieve personal success do you feel disgruntled and jealous? Do you feel confused as to why that person got X, Y, and Z and you didn’t?
If you answered yes, then that means your ego is in control.
A person who’s living in alignment with their truth and purpose doesn’t get jealous of other people, instead, they feel joyful when they see others find happiness and success.
So if you’re caught in the trenches of envy, know this: there’s nothing anyone else can do, be or have that you can’t. The only thing that separates you from anyone else is your beliefs about yourself and your worth. Once you realize you’re capable, powerful and limitless, the universe will open up doors to you where there were only walls.
4.) You Incessantly Compare Yourself to Others
Do you constantly compare yourself to others to determine your worth? Do you try to be more like someone else to gain acceptance from others and even yourself?
Comparison is the thief of joy. It offers no benefits to those who fall into its traps. Instead, it keeps you in a permanent state of unhappiness, always striving to be more like someone else, rather than embracing who you truly are.
The next time you find yourself comparing how you look, act or what you do with someone else, STOP! I repeat, STOP! Instead, focus on how you can become a better version of yourself.
5.) You Act As if Others are Beneath You
Do you ever talk badly about other people because it makes you feel better about yourself, or because you believe they’re beneath you?
Here’s a little secret: no one is better than anyone else.
And when you talk badly about other people, it’s a reflection of you and your current state of unhappiness, rather than the person you’re talking about. It’s also an indicator your ego has full control over you.
The next time you feel the urge to talk about someone else, ask yourself these questions:
- Does it make me feel better to talk badly about (insert person)?
- What is accomplished when I talk badly about (insert person)?
- What is it within ME that needs healing so I can stop talking about (insert person)?
By asking yourself these questions, and answering honestly, you’ll see that no good comes out of talking about others, and you’ll likely discover something within yourself that you need to work on fixing.
6.) You Believe the World Owes You Something
Everyone goes through hard times and has challenges to overcome.
No one is perfect. We all have good days, and we all have bad days. This contrast is a natural part of life, and it helps us grow and learn if we allow it to.
But sometimes people get too caught up in their challenges and hard times, and become mad at the world. They believe because they’ve been through X, Y, or Z they’re entitled to special treatment, or the world owes them something.
But, it doesn’t. The world doesn’t owe any of us anything, and if you feel otherwise, this is a sign your ego is in control.
Rather than focusing on what you think the world owes you, instead turn your attention to what you want from the world. Then, create an action plan for how you can get the things you want to get.
7.) You Want Things For the Sheer Reason of Impressing Others
Do you ever find yourself fantasizing about having a luxury car, tons of money and a big house not necessarily because you want those things but because you want other people to know you have them?
Do you ever imagine yourself being famous, or achieving great things just to get back at other people?
These kinds of fantasies are part of the ego’s delusions, and they serve no positive purpose other than to make you wish you had things for the sheer reason of impressing other people and/or making them jealous.
If you find yourself getting caught up in these kinds of delusions, make a list of everything you want in your life, and then write down why you want those things. If anything is on your list to impress or get back at another person, cross it off.
By using these 7 signs to determine if your ego is in control of your life, you’ll be taking the first necessary step to regaining control!
About Antasha Durbin: Antasha is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader. Her website, cajspirituality.com, is dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime. Follow her for free, easy-to-digest and highly actionable advice on spirituality, mindfulness and empowered living.