“The secret to having it all is…knowing you already do.”
One of the most common questions I get asked is, “how do you do it all?”
Between working full-time, raising my son and chasing my dreams (this website!) it’s not always easy — but there is always time for everything I want to do, and need to do. But, it wasn’t always that way. Prior to having my son, I used to think I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too.
When you think about it, that’s a really sad and torturous concept. What would be the point of having a cake you can’t eat?
And what would be the point of having dreams you can’t achieve?
There is no point! And that concept is bullshit created by people whose lives didn’t pan out the way they wanted them to, and rather than take responsibility and re-shape their priorities, they instead abide by this ridiculous notion thereby selling themselves and their potential short in the process. Don’t be one of those people.
Have your cake and enjoy every bite!
Step 1: Believe You’re Worthy
Worthiness, ahhh…where to begin…
We live in a world that is constantly undermining our worth. We are told from the time we are little that we aren’t attractive enough, smart enough, rich enough, capable enough blah, blah, blah.
And all of these adjectives are just that — adjectives. They have no real meaning unless we take them to heart and assign them to ourselves.
Don’t do that. Don’t belittle your greatness by wearing a crown someone else designed for you that you don’t even like.
Believe you are worthy because you are. Live like you are worthy because you are. You are a limitless being full of potential to be whoever you want, and create whatever you want.
Still struggling to believe in and love yourself? Then find a comfortable place to sit and listen to this 20-minute self-love meditation:
Step 2: Get Hungry!
Scene: your favorite caking is baking in the oven right now. Mouth-watering aromas are floating around the air in your house, and your stomach begins to grumble with anticipation.
You close your eyes and image taking a bite of that freshly made cake that’s still warm to the touch. Mmmm! It’s so good.
Approach your life the same way. Get hungry for your dreams and goals by thinking about what you want in your life, and then imagining yourself living that life.
Hunger is what fuels action, so get hungry!
Step 3: Cut Out Any Unnecessary Habits
All of us have unnecessary habits that consume our time, attention and energy. Luckily, we can nip these habits in the bud by recognizing where we’re spending our time and how often.
Go grab a pen and piece of paper right now (don’t worry, this article will still be here when you get back!) and make a list of how you typically spend your time, and in what intervals.
For example, do you watch an hour or more of TV every night? Do you check your email as soon as your wake up in the morning and get sucked in? Do you spend hours every day on social media?
Identify your unnecessary habits, and then make a counter list of how you’re going to spend your time, starting today, instead.
Here’s an example of what that might look like:
- Read a self-development book for 45 minutes before bed
- Journal for 15 minutes before bed
- Meditate for 10 minutes first thing in the morning
- Make a “to-do” list for the day, including goals!
The idea is to supplement your unnecessary habits with good habits that will add value to your life. This way you can use your time wisely and focus on more important things like working toward your goals and better yourself every single day!
Step 4: Upsize Your Routine
I know people typically talk about the benefits of downsizing, but for the purposes of this exercise (after all, we’re talking about having your cake and eating it too!) we’re going to talk about upsizing…your routine!
Fun fact: we all 24 hours in our day. What we choose to do with that time is entirely up to us, and when you look at high achievers and inspirational people you’ll notice a trend — they never complain about not having enough time. They make time for everything they want to do. And you can too!
Here’s how this works, and it’s probably going to be somewhat challenging in the beginning, but I promise it’ll get easier and become fun: I want you to challenge yourself to wake up 30 minutes earlier every day, and go to bed 30 minutes later every night. Then set a weekly goal you can commit to and dedicate all of that extra time to work toward that goal.
Maybe you want to get fit, and you’re going to use this time to work out and prepare healthier food for yourself.
Maybe you want to finish school, and you’re going to use this time to study and learn more.
Maybe you want to create a piece of art, and you’re going to use this time to bring your creations into fruition.
Whatever the case may be, spend this time wisely and use it to do something that’s important to you and your life.
Step 5: Follow the 20-Second Rule
Ready to put steps 3 and 4 into action long-term? I thought so, that’s why we’re going to follow the “20-second rule“. The purpose of the 20-second rule is to make everything you want to do more convenient by saving you 20 seconds, and everything you don’t want to do (i.e. bad habits) more inconvenient by adding an additional 20 seconds to how long it’d take you to do that thing.
Here’s how it works: let’s say one of your goals is to reduce how much time you spend on social media before bed and increase how much time you spend reading and journaling. In this case, you’d start by deleting all of the social media apps on your phone, including Facebook messenger. Then, before you get into bed, you’d set your alarm and place your phone out of arms reach.
Somewhere near your bed, either on it or beside it, you’d leave a book you’ve been wanting to read, alongside a journal with a pen in it. This way when you crawl into bed at night you’ll be motivated to dive right into your book and/or journal because doing so is easy and convenient!
By making the things you want to do more convenient (by saving yourself 20 seconds), and the things you want to stop doing inconvenient (by adding an additional 20 seconds), you’ll be setting yourself up for long-term success!
Step 6: Enjoy Your Cake!
Life is meant to be a joyous adventure full of new experiences, lessons, love, and purpose.
Sometimes you’ll face challenges, other times life will be smooth sailing. The goal of life isn’t perfection — it’s about your journey, and how much being here on earth helps you learn and grow as a person and a spiritual being.
As you walk, run and climb through this life, remember to stop once in a while enjoy the cake you’re making — it’s delicious, unique and worth savoring!
By following these 6 steps, you’ll always have your cake…and eat it too.
Need a happiness boost? Click here to purchase my first Ebook, “From Broken to Awoken: A 21-day guide to personal success, happiness, and fulfillment.”
About Antasha Durbin: Antasha is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader. Her website, cajspirituality.com, is dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime. Follow her for free, easy-to-digest and highly actionable advice on spirituality, mindfulness and empowered living.