“It’s amazing how quickly things turn around when you remove toxic people from your life.” – Robert Tew
Relationships are wonderful things — they teach us about ourselves, offer us an abundance of opportunities to grow and in many cases, allow us to experience a new kind of love.
But, not all relationships are healthy and full of positive lessons. Sometimes, relationships are similar to navigating a small ship on the ocean during a hurricane — unpredictable, unstable and downright dangerous.
These kinds of relationships, known as toxic relationships, often start out disguised as healthy, positive relationships. Then, once the relationship is in full swing, they begin to shift little by little — sometimes the changes are so granular at first that you don’t notice them…and then eventually those negative changes become your new normal.
If this sounds familiar, then you may be in a toxic relationship. Here are 7 warning signs your partner is toxic, and what to do:
1.) Your Significant Other Picks Fights With You Constantly
It’s normal for partnerships to experience tension and disagreements from time to time, but if your relationship is constantly plagued by drama and fighting, then this is a tell-tale sign something is amiss.
If it feels like you’re ALWAYS fighting with your significant other, and that person is ALWAYS egging on the fights then it may be time to step back and evaluate your relationship.
Do I really want to spend my life now, and into the future, fighting with my partner?
If the answer is no, it’s time to let go of this relationship and move forward with your life.
2.) Your Significant Other Belittles You
Do you find yourself on the receiving end of daily criticism and judgment? It’s like you can do no right and your partner always finds fault in everything you do.
If you’re nodding in agreement to the above, then it’s time to lace up your tennis shoes and run.
Toxic people almost always project their insecurities onto others and because you’re the significant other, you’re the easiest target for these projections. And this is a massive danger to you because you’ll soak in these projections, and may even start to believe them which can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and tons of other issues.
Don’t wait around for your partner to change — find someone who uplifts you because you are worthy and deserving of more.
3.) Your Significant Other Gaslights You
Even though your significant other frequently belittles and criticizes you, when you bring up what was said to try to talk about it, your partner will deny even having said those things in the first place.
Your partner re-creates the dialogue of what was said to work in their favor. They’ll even call you crazy for “thinking” you heard (insert abusive comment), or say you’re “making things up“.
This behavior is known as gaslighting, and it’s toxic and abusive. If it’s happening in your relationship know that you aren’t crazy, but your relationship is toxic.
4.) Your Significant Other Compulsively Lies and Cheats, and Then Blames You
Do you frequently catch your significant other in lies? Does your partner have a history of cheating? When confronted, does your partner blame you for their bad behavior?
For example, let’s say catch your partner having an inappropriate conversation with someone online, and making plans to meet up. Then when you confront them about it, rather than own up and apologize, they blame you for not “giving” them something they need.
If this sounds familiar, this is a definite sign your partner is toxic. Never ever accept responsibility for someone else’s bad behavior — those behaviors are their shortcomings and not yours.
5.) Your Significant Other Always Plays the Victim
Imagine something tragic happens in your life and more than anything you’d just like to go home and cry and be within the comfort of your partner’s arms. But as soon as you start talking about what happened, your partner (rather than being supportive) begins delving into all of the bad/tragic things that happened throughout their life.
Rather than finding comfort and support, you’re instead expected to give that very comfort and support. If this happens frequently in your relationship, and your partner is always playing the victim of life, then this is another tell-tale sign your relationship is toxic.
6.) Your Significant Other is All Take and No Give
Do you constantly give your partner love, time, attention and more but get little in return? Does it feel like you’re always doing something for your partner, but when the tables turn your partner isn’t willing to give the same to you?
If you answered yes to the questions above, then the best thing to do right now is to figure out what kind of a partnership you do want.
“What does the exchange of energy look like in the relationship I want?”
If your current relationship doesn’t match up to what you want, then now is the best time to take action.
7.) Your Significant Other Rarely Admits Fault
When your partner initiates a fight, gets caught lying or cheating, or does something else that hurts your relationship, rather than apologizing and admitting fault, your partner instead blames you, or some external person/circumstance.
This behavior is incredibly toxic because it means your partner doesn’t have the capacity or is unwilling, to see their own faults and shortcomings. And nothing that’s ignored can be repaired.
So if this happens often, it’s probably best to let your partner go. Otherwise, you’ll waste more time and energy with a person who isn’t ready to be in a relationship.
Above all, always remember to follow your instincts. What does your intuition tell you? Is it screaming “leave, get out of here!” or urging you to exit the relationship in some other way? If it is, listen to it — it’s your personal compass and internal guiding force.
Only you are aware of your relationship, and how it makes you feel. If there’s more bad than good, and you constantly feel mentally, emotionally, physically and spirituality drained then it’s probably best to cut ties and let go so you can move on with your life and find the love and happiness you deserve.
About Antasha Durbin: Antasha is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader. Her website, cajspirituality.com, is dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime. Follow her for free, easy-to-digest and highly actionable advice on spirituality, mindfulness and empowered living.