14 Things You Need To Give Up (For Good) If You Want To Empower Yourself


Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” – Maya Angelo 

Are you ready to stop disempowering yourself, and start living your best life? 
Then it’s time for you to let go of these 14 bad habits that are causing you unnecessary pain, suffering, and stress. 

 Starting today you can free yourself from these negative actions, and become the person you were always meant to be! 
Ready to begin? Here we go: 

1.) Complaining


Many of us use complaining as a way to vent and release negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But complaining is pointless and does nothing for any of us other than show us the “bad” in the situation/person/circumstance rather than the good.

Replace your complaints for “thanks” and when you catch yourself going on and on about something you find unsatisfying, find something to be thankful for. 

2.) Comparing Yourself to Others


No two of us are the same, but we live as though we wish we were. We get so caught up in comparing our looks, skills, and abilities to those of others that we forget about our own uniqueness.

And when we do this we tear ourselves down rather than build ourselves up.

Let go of the need to compare yourself to others. You aren’t them and you never will be. Focus on harnessing yourself and your own unique potential because there’s only ONE you! 

3.) Negative Thinking 


You become what you think about the most — that’s why it’s so important to monitor your thoughts, especially when they’re primarily negative.

Negative thinking holds us back from living a fulfilling life and becoming the people we were born to be. 

The next time you catch yourself thinking about something negatively, shift your focus and think about something that makes you happy. Doing this will instantly change your vibes from bad to good. 

4.) Putting Other People Down


When we talk badly about other people or put them down, we’re not just hurting them — we’re also hurting ourselves.

Judging others actually manifests as us judging ourselves, and it means there’s internal discord brewing that we’re projecting outward.

If you feel the need to judge someone else or put them down, I encourage you to ask yourself WHY? What is it within YOU that feels unsettled and angry about the other person or what they’re doing?  Your answer will probably surprise you, and you’ll realize it’s not them you’re putting down — it’s actually yourself. 

All of us are different and unique in our right, but we’re also all connected by our souls and humanity.  This connection is something we should celebrate not judge! 

5.) Telling Yourself You Can’t


Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right.” – Henry Ford 

“I can’t do that because (insert reason).”

This is a phrase we use WAY too much in our vocabularies! When we tell ourselves we “can’t” we hold ourselves back from TRYING! And when we try new things, that’s when we learn, grow and are presented with further opportunities. 

Stop saying you can’t! You CAN. And the next time you catch yourself saying those naughty words, say “I can, I can, I can.” You are stronger and more capable than you think, it’s time you acknowledge that truth!

6.) Letting Your Fears Hold You Back


All of us have things we’re afraid of (and I’m not talking about dangerous situations because those are fears we need to listen to!), and we can either choose to use those fears as a source of motivation to push us toward our goals, or we can use them as an excuse for why we won’t do something. 

The question is, what will you choose to do? The choice of always yours.

Just remember your fears don’t exist to hinder you, they exist to push you outside of your comfort zone and grow. Stop letting them hold you back, and start using them as a launching pad to get to where you want to be!

7.) Holding Grudges 


Have you ever been so mad at someone that you completely cut them out of your life and then years later thought about them and were STILL angry? Maybe it was something they did. Maybe it was something they said. Maybe it was something they didn’t do, or didn’t say. 

Whatever the case may be, there is nothing and I repeat NOTHING productive about holding grudges. You know why?

Because all of those thoughts, feelings, and emotions live inside of YOUR head making YOU angry, bitter and resentful. Ya feel me? That’s why you NEED to let go of grudges and forgive (for yourself and YOUR sanity). By letting go and releasing those toxic emotions and thoughts, you’ll be empowering yourself to live a happier, healthier life!

8.) Wasting Your Time


How many hours do you spend scrolling on social media, watching TV or aimlessly passing the time? It’s time to stop wasting your time and start using it productively. 

You are a one-of-a-kind creator with greatness inside of you! Put your phone down, turn the TV off and get out into the world and create!

9.) Following Someone Else’s Agenda 

Maybe your mom wants you to be a doctor. Maybe your grandfather wants you to be an accountant.

So what.

Stop following other people’s agenda for you and start following your own!

Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? This is YOUR life and it’s the only one you’ve got so live it your way! 

10.) Doubting Your Worth


You are worthy. You are valuable. You matter. 

This is true for all of us, so why do we constantly doubt our worth?

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, what your job title is, what you look like, what your parents do etc. None of these things make you any more or less worthy. 

You are valuable. Period. Don’t ever forget that!

11.) Worrying About What Other People Think


People are always going to have their own thoughts and opinions of you. Let them. Be unapologetically you.

You don’t need other peoples approval to live YOUR life or follow your dreams. 

12.) Not Setting Goals


It’s one thing to say, “I want x,y,z” and it’s another to actually set goals and consistently work towards achieving them so you can get that thing you want. 

By not setting goals, you’re disempowering yourself from gaining the momentum needed to make your dreams a reality. 

As Tony Robbins famously said, The difference between ‘must’ and ‘should’ is the life you want and the life you have.

If you want to change your life, you have to turn your “I should do x,y,z” into “I MUST do x,y,z.” To do thisset one goal every day alongside three small targets that will help you achieve that goal. Doing this consistently will turn those daily goals into massive results!

13.) Staying In Your Comfort Zone


“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” 

Ah. Our comfort zones. They’re so comfy, aren’t they? They’re also boring, predictable and self-limiting. 

None of us were born to sit behind a closed window watching other people live their lives. We were all born to be in the world, forge our own paths and explore. 

Unfortunately, many of us spend our time cozying up to the pre-paved path rather than doing the work it takes to create our own. But, when we do this we don’t blossom the way we should, and our growth is restricted at best. 

Step outside of your comfort zone. Take risks. Explore. Push yourself. Take chances. Travel. Color your life outside of the lines. 

14.) Living Your Life For Others


So many of live our lives trying to impress and appease others. When we do this, we stop living for ourselves and instead live how we think others think we should.

Don’t live your life to impress or appease others. This is your life. Live it to make yourself happy first and foremost. Once you reach personal happiness, you’ll be able to bring happiness and love into other people’s lives as well!



Screen Shot 2017-12-15 at 10.38.26 AM.png About Antasha Durbin: Antasha is a spiritual writer, life-long student of the universe, and psychic tarot card reader. Her website, cajspirituality.com, is dedicated to casualizing the spiritual experience and making it attainable for anyone, anywhere, anytime. Follow her for free, easy-to-digest and highly actionable advice on spirituality, mindfulness and empowered living.

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21 thoughts on “14 Things You Need To Give Up (For Good) If You Want To Empower Yourself

    1. So happy you enjoyed it! I agree with you – once we learn to let these 14 things go, it’s so much easier to find happiness & fulfillment in life!

  1. A must read! Loved every bit of it. Life is indeed beautiful if we decide to live it the right way. A Life that’s wider than the screens of our ever evolving gadgets.
    Have a wonderful day!

    1. So happy you enjoyed it! You are so right! Life is so beautiful, and our perspective shapes our ability to be able to see that! Big love to you, and enjoy your day as well! Xx

  2. I love this!! I’ve been really putting effort lately into not letting my fears stop me and trying to step outside of my comfort zone.

    1. ❤️ So happy you enjoyed it! It’s not easy to step outside of the comfort zone at first but it is SO worth it! Excited for you and your beautiful journey! Big love, xx!

    1. We do don’t we?! It’s all about dodging those bullets, and then learning which direction they’re coming from so we can anticipate how to handle similar situations in the future 😉 Life wouldn’t be fun without the challenges to throw us off course, redirect us and then ultimately show us what matters, ya know? Happy you found it useful… I know I still struggle with some of them myself, but alas, perhaps that’s why I write about it 😉 Big love Simon, you’re always a pleasure!

      1. You’re right, life wouldn’t be fun without the challenges but using your bullets metaphor I’m kind of full of holes lol 😂
        I think we all must struggle…
        Thank you so much. Big love back at you you’re a pleasure too, always very kind and honest 😀

  3. I need to read this everyday. Just number 1 could keep me busy for a week. And I’ve been wasting time! I’m so good at frittering away a whole day, just to avoid actual work.

    I’m saving this to my desktop to review while setting my new goals. Thank you! 😀

    1. #1 is a tough one for a lot of us…many times we don’t even realize we’re doing it! BUT, it’s a good thing to consciously work on because it totally changes your entire perspective when you stop complaining — suddenly your eyes are opened to a new world of blessing surrounding you…it’s a magical awakening 🙂 Big love to you! Xx

      1. I’m going to present this idea to my husband in our long drive to Asheville today. We’ve picked up the habit of just kvetching to each other about all kinds of things like it’s a hobby. But this whining has to go! I want a new perspective. 😀

    1. ❤️❤️ so happy you enjoyed! And you’re right, the hardest part is the implementation…but you can do it! ✨❤️ Big love, xx

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